The Rambler

Lots to share. Prepare for a ramble…

Latest Case Information

Keeping this pretty dry. There has been SO much drama over the past few months and I don’t feel comfortable sharing most of it here as our case remains open. Suffice to say I had to get the police involved at one point, but everyone is okay––at least for the moment.

We had our 21E Review Hearing today (meant to be last Friday, but the judge decided not to show up – cool, cool, cool) to review the birth parents’ progress on their reunification services. Both DCFS and minor’s counsel recommended that services not be continued for another six months due to insufficient progress. As expected, birth parents’ attorneys contested this, so now we meet again in June for a formal trial. HOWEVER, the judge set this trial for the minimum allotted time of 15 minutes, signaling that she does not expect a plethora of new evidence that will change her decision.

Terminating reunification services does not equal termination of parental rights. That will be the next step after we jump over the June hurdle. For now, we hold our little Muppins close and hope the universe knows what she’s doing.

Entering Post-Pandemic Parenting Life

Back in March, I took the little one on a weekend getaway to Palm Desert. We ate at the Tommy Bahama restaurant (lol, but also like some of the best tater tots I’ve ever had) and LO sat at the table with his crayons like a big boy! Fellow diners commented on his beautiful curls and big smile. And it all would have been such a mundane experience in normal life, but this was the first time I’d been able to share him with the general public in almost a year. I cried. I cried at Tommy Bahama into my Mai Tai for all of those simple Mom experiences taken from me.

Since then, we’ve slowly started to expand our circle. Over the weekend, I took LO to our local park for the first time and interacted with the other moms like a totally normal person! I’m sure it will get old VERY quickly, but for now I am more than happy to hear about how old your child is and when they started walking. I’ll even tolerate that thing parents do when they speak “through” their child. You know what I mean? Yeah, you do.

Dating as a Mother

At first I titled this section “Dating as a Single Mother” but I suppose that’s implied…

As if starting another new job (oh yeah, I started a new gig last Monday at a social justice creative agency) during this insane process wasn’t enough stress and drama, I also decided to go on my first date in like two years. Fortunately I’ve been ghosted so many times that I haven’t had to take this leap until now!

Y’all, dating as a mother is HARD. There are so many (new) issues to overcome:

1. Tiredness to the point of resentment that you even have to leave the house;
2. Mom guilt for leaving your child (even when they’re sleeping!) and making anything else a priority over them;
3. Inability to feel sexy in my new identity as a mom after changing diapers, singing Baby Shark on a loop, and watching the torturous Cocomelon all day;
4. Anxiety re: if/when to introduce the babe to the boy;
5. Premature analysis of date as future partner AND father, ultimately leading to relationship sabotage.

The dude in question actually read the blog in its entirety and hasn’t gone running for the hills yet, so that’s gotta be a good sign? He also said he feels like it will eventually become an Oscar-nominated movie (not a winner, just nominated. I appreciate the honesty) so…he can hang a little while longer.

Big shout-out to my village for stepping up to babysit so that I can pretend to be a human woman for a few hours a week and my therapist for continuing to handle my neuroses professionally. A lesser woman would have snapped by now: “YOU DON’T HAVE TO MARRY HIM. IT WAS A FIRST DATE!”